Chapter 14

There are two ways to be fooled.  One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.  Søren Kierkegaard
There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true. Søren Kierkegaard

Click on the link below to read Chapter 14 of Homo! in the pdf format (better formatting).

Homo!: Chapter 14

Or just read it below online in the html format.

SUMMARY: What if you were homosexual but refused to admit it to anyone, especially yourself? The year is 1971 and fourteen year old Jimmy Barnes has discovered growing up in a small town can be boring in a way not even the solitary masturbation sessions he enjoys so much can relieve. When his best friend takes a job at the local newspaper, Jimmy finds himself on his own for the summer. What follows is a decade long saga with numerous twists and turns, a tale that’ll reveal the best and the worst of the nineteen-seventies and beyond.

WARNING: This story is a work of adult fiction and intended for mature audiences only. Unless otherwise noted, all of the characters in the story are fictional; any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. While some of the places described or mentioned in the story are fictional as well, others may be real. However, some liberties may have been taken with the truth to enhance the story. Please note that the story may describe, depict or otherwise include graphic portrayals of relationships between men and/or adolescent boys that are homosexual in nature. If you do not like For approve of such discussions or it is illegal for you to read such material, consider yourself warned. If you continue to read this story, you are asserting you are fully capable of understanding and legally consenting to reading a work of adult fiction.

NOTICE: This story is my property and protected by the copyright laws of the United States and other countries. It may not be reproduced in any form without my written permission. You may download a single copy to read offline and to share with others as long as you credit me as the author. However, you may not use this work for commercial purposes or to profit from it in any way. You may not use any of the characters or fictional places in the story in your own work without my explicit permission. Nor may you use, alter, transform, or build upon the story in any way. If you share this story with others, you must make clear the terms under which it is licensed to them. The best way to do that is by linking to this web page.

NOTES: Please check these notes every week. If there’s something I want to alert you to as I post each chapter, this is where I will I do so.

HOMO!

Part III – March 1975

Chapter 14

At some point I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I recall was opening my eyes. It was after 5:00 o’clock. Knowing Jeff would be home in an hour or two, I quickly cleaned myself up in the bathroom. After washing the g-string and using the hair dryer Jeff and I shared to dry it, I concealed it under the mattress in the bedroom I rarely used.

I recall Eric reminding me to think about a couple of things and decided to focus on them next. It wasn’t easy. I found the whole open relationship thing especially confusing. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed to me that Jeff and I already had an open relationship and there was nothing to discuss with him.

Back in North Adams things had been simpler. Jeff was the only homo in town, at least as far as I knew. He had never asked me to only have sex with him. Truth be told, he seemed happy I was having sex with him at all. But in Washington everything was different. There were tons of guys like Jeff.

Not that I was necessarily going to have sex with any of them, but what would the problem be if I did? Or if Jeff did for that matter?

It was just sex after all and sex was about having fun. Some people tried to make more of it, but they were usually priests and other adults who didn’t want you to enjoy yourself. They had probably never had any fun in life and just wanted everyone else to be miserable like them.

Truth be told, raising the issue of an open relationship with Jeff seemed wrong somehow. If Eric was right and my job was to keep Jeff happy, how would telling him I was interested in having sex with someone else do that?

Even assuming I wanted to, of course, which I wasn’t saying I did; it was just a hypothetical question, but the answer seemed fairly straight-forward to me. If I ever decided I wanted to have sex with someone else, probably some girl, it seemed to me it would actually be better to do something like that without telling Jeff. That way his feelings wouldn’t be hurt.

I mean, having sex with someone else didn’t mean I was planning to dump Jeff. We would still have sex and I would work just as hard to make him happy.

Thinking about it that way, I couldn’t see any problem having sex with someone else. I mean, Jeff was older. He could have had sex with a ton of guys if he wanted. He had told me I was the only guy he had ever had sex with, but whose fault was that?

I had never asked him to only have sex with me; and even now, it wouldn’t bother me if I found out Jeff had actually had sex with other guys; at least I didn’t think it would bother me.

Oh brother, Jimmy; who are you kidding? You know it would bother you.

Maybe so, but I don’t think he ever would do something like that. He likes me too much.

The point is he had made that choice, not me; and I was younger after all. I was still learning about sex. I had already had sex with girls and I liked it; at least mostly I liked it. I probably would have stuck with them if there weren’t so many problems that came with dating girls.

Like I had said a million times, all the girls wanted to get married and have babies and have a husband who would take care of them. I was too young for that. And then the other thing was that most of the time they just laid there and expected you to do all the work. They weren’t into fun as much as Jeff was. Plus I never liked wearing a condom; those things were nasty.

That’s why I liked having sex with Jeff. I didn’t have to worry about getting him pregnant. He didn’t just lay there. He was active and engaged throughout the whole thing and worked hard to get me aroused. I didn’t have to wear a condom; and best of all, it wasn’t like we were married either.

If you were married to a girl or had given a girl your high school ring and then had sex with someone else, I could understand how people would consider that cheating. Not being married to Jeff made everything different.

We were both free to do whatever we wanted. That’s not to say I was planning on rushing out and having sex with someone else, but I just didn’t see what the problem would be as long as I did my job and kept Jeff happy as well.

Having settled the open relationship thing to my satisfaction, I focused next on whether I should ask Jeff for an allowance.

The more I thought about it, the more I came to realize Eric was right. Keeping Jeff happy was a job. It was a job I enjoyed, no doubt about it, but it was also a lot of work. When Jeff got home in the evening, for example, he would usually take a shower. Then I would give him a massage to ease the aches and pains of the day.

The massages typically ended in a predictable way that was enjoyable for both of us. But they required time and effort and those things deserved to be rewarded.

Later, while watching television, Jeff often rested his head in my lap. I knew he was looking for some affection when he did that and sometimes the two of us would spend an hour or more making out. Bedtime brought still other rituals, ones that were often especially long and intense on the weekend.

Like I said, it’s not like I was complaining. I enjoyed the sex, but keeping Jeff happy involved a lot more time and energy than you might think at first glance. It wasn’t as simple as someone might guess. It seemed to me that maybe Eric was right and I should test the waters with Jeff about an allowance.

The hardest thing of all was the Triple C club. I had left that hanging with Eric. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to be a member of the club. I did; and since I had already decided Jeff and I had an open relationship, the idea of having sex with other members of the club was probably okay if it ever came to that.

But what kind of sex, Jimmy; what if one of them wants to cum in your mouth or fuck you?

Eric had said you didn’t have to do something you didn’t want to, but not doing it the first time might keep me out of the club if someone didn’t think I was much fun; and I didn’t know anything about Del either if he was the one I had to sleep with. I couldn’t even recall what he looked like.

It was hard trying to decide what to do about the club; although I definitely wanted to go to the special meeting on Thursday at Bobbie’s place. Of all the new boys I had met so far, Bobbie was the one I wanted to be friends with the most. He was incredibly good looking and had a hot body, but was totally cool as well. For some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

****

When Jeff got home that evening, I didn’t raise any of this immediately. Instead, after his shower and a massage that ended in the usual fashion, I served him one of his favorite meals. He seemed to appreciate it. While he relaxed on the couch, I cleaned things up. Then I joined him.

“How was your day, Jimmy?” he asked.

It was the opening I was looking for.

“Good,” I responded. “I had lunch with Eric at the Hawk and Dove.”

“Did you have a good time?” he asked.

“I did. I like Eric. It’s nice to have a friend like him.”

“I called around 1:30 p.m. to see how you were,” Jeff continued, “but you weren’t here; at least you didn’t pick up the phone.”

“That’s because Eric took me to this place called Head and Tails after lunch,” I said. “He has a friend who works there; and since I didn’t have anything to do in the afternoon, I figured I’d check the place out for us.”

“What did you think?” Jeff asked.

“It’s a dive,” I responded, “but, uh, kind of an interesting one.”

“Yeah; I’ve heard that place is kind of trashy,” Jeff said. “I’m not sure it’s the kind of place we should be hanging around.”

“We didn’t stay that long,” I reassured him, “but Eric introduced me to a friend of his named Bobbie so now I have two friends in Washington; besides you, of course, Jeff. Eric is going to introduce me to some other boys my age on Thursday. If that’s okay with you, I mean?”

“Sure,” Jeff said. “I want you to make more friends. I know this hasn’t been easy for you, but you’ll like Washington a lot more once you do.”

“I think you’re right,” I replied. “I already feel better just from getting to know Eric.”

“Good,” Jeff replied. “He seems to know everything and everyone in this city so I’m sure you’ll make more friends soon enough.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” I said; “and, uh, by the way, I forgot to remind you I was having lunch with him this morning so he had to pay for my meal. I felt bad about that. I need to pay him back.”

“Sure,” Jeff responded. “How much do you need?”

“Seven dollars should do it,” I responded. “By the way, are you making any progress finding a job for me, Jeff?”

“Not yet,” he responded. “But I’m keeping my eyes open. Like I mentioned before, usually job hiring on Capitol Hill happens in two waves after an election. Most members like to put their staff together by the end of January at the latest; usually earlier. Our office was no different in that regard.”

“But normally within two or three months some of the new staff don’t work out and end up losing their jobs. So then there’s a second wave of openings at that time. That’s usually in late spring; April and May. That’s probably how it’ll work out for you.”

“Not that you have to get a job, Jimmy,” he continued. “You have your hands full already taking care of this place and making our meals; and you do the washing as well. I appreciate everything you do. It’s a big help, Jimmy; if you decide you don’t want a job, that’s fine.”

“Thanks,” I replied. “I’m glad to help out around this place. The thing is, when I mentioned to Eric that I didn’t have any money on me, he told me how Bob gives him a weekly allowance. That way he isn’t pestering Bob all the time for money. Do you think that would make sense for us?”

“I mean, depending on what you gave me, I could do the grocery shopping during the week while you’re at work,” I continued. “That would save us time on the weekends when the grocery stores are crowded; and if you tossed in a little extra, I wouldn’t have to be bothering you all the time for a few bucks every couple of days like I’m doing now.”

“That makes sense,” Jeff responded. “I’ve been putting the groceries on a credit card. I should be able to figure out how much you need for that pretty easily. How much do you need for personal expenses?”

“Oh, jeez, I’m not really sure;” I replied, uncertain how much to ask for. “Eric says Bob gives him $100 a week, but I don’t know what that includes.”

“That’s a lot of money,” Jeff responded, surprised. “That would be about a quarter of what I’m earning if you annualized it.”

“Why don’t we start with $50 a week plus whatever you’ll need for the groceries?” he suggested. “If you need more we can increase it; and, of course, that wouldn’t be for clothes or medical expenses or anything like dining out or going to the movies or whatever. Those things would be separate and I would continue to take care of them.”

“Whatever you think is fair, Jeff,” I said, relieved to be getting anything at all.

Leaning over, I kissed him and placed my hand on his groin.

It was time to do my job; time to make Jeff happy again. Knowing that would make me happy as well made the job all the more satisfying.

****

The next morning Jeff headed off to work at the usual time, but I got up earlier than usual. I still hadn’t figured out what to do about the club and realized Eric would be calling me at some point that morning.

I must have gone over everything Eric had explained to me a million times that morning. Sometimes I would decide I wanted to join no matter what. But then doubts would arise.

What if you lose and end up having to chump for Del? And what if he wants to cum in your mouth, Jimmy? Are you willing to do that? I mean, that would make you a cocksucker after all.

But it’s different, I responded. It’s just something I would have to do once to get Del to tell the other boys I was okay. Once you’re in the club, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want. Eric said so.

That doesn’t change anything, Jimmy. You’d still be a cocksucker. And what if Del wanted to fuck you? Are you going to let him fuck you like you’re some kind of girl? What if he wants you to wear panties before he fucks you, Jimmy? Are you willing to wear panties for the guy?

The more I thought about it, the more I wasn’t sure what to do.

You’ll never make any friends your age if you’re not willing to be more flexible, Jimmy. The important thing to remember is you’re not a homo. You wouldn’t like doing those things; letting someone cum in your mouth, letting someone fuck you.

Jeff likes those things. He’s always after you to do them and he likes it when you do. If you did it, it would just be as a way of becoming a member of the club. You would only have to do them once, if even that.

And it’s not like you’re certain to draw the short straw after all. You might win; and even if you lose, who knows? Maybe Del is a bottom. Even if he wins the drawing, he might want you to do the same things you do to Jeff. Unlike you, he’s probably gay after all. How much different than Jeff could he be?

It was hard figuring out what to do; really hard. Finally, the phone rang. I knew who was calling and approached the phone slowly.

“Hi; this is Jimmy,” I said, picking it up. “Who am I speaking to?”

“It’s me, Jimmy; Eric. I just wanted to let you know we’re going to have lunch at Mr. Henry’s at noon before our club meeting today. I can stop by and pick you up on the way over if you want.”

“Uh, well . . . I, uh . . . I’m not feeling so well today, Eric,” I lied. “I, uh . . . I’m not sure I’m up to having lunch with the group today.”

“Is it the money?” Eric asked. “Did you forget to ask Jeff for some money again? Because if that’s it, I can pick up the tab for you if need be.”

“No,” I replied. “I talked to Jeff last night about the allowance like you told me too. He thinks that makes sense. He gave me fifty dollars plus what I needed to pay you back for yesterday. Money isn’t the problem. It’s just that, uh . . . like I said, I’m not feeling so hot.”

“I see,” Eric replied. “This doesn’t have something to do with the game, does it? You were pretty enthusiastic about joining the club at first when we talked about it. It was only when I talked about the Triple C game that you seemed to get more nervous about it. Does it have something to do with that?”

“Maybe a little,” I sighed, deciding to tell him the truth. “I mean, I want to be part of the club, but I’m not sure I could chump for someone. You know what I mean? It’s just hard.”

“Why don’t you come along today and have lunch with the boys?” Eric suggested. “They’re anxious to get to know you better and I know how much you want to make some new friends. They’ll be disappointed if you don’t show up for lunch; and then, if you decide you don’t want to join us for our club meeting this afternoon, I can tell them you already had something else scheduled for the day.”

“That way you’d get to know the boys better and could always put off having to make a decision about whether you want to join the club and everything that comes with that.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “That might make things even harder. If I liked them, which I probably will, it would be hard not to attend the meeting; and if I attend the meeting and draw the short straw, it would be even harder to back out at that point. It’s probably better if I don’t even go to the lunch.”

“Are you sure?” Eric asked.

“No; I’m not sure. I just don’t see any other way.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Eric said. “I was looking forward to you becoming a member of our club. But if that’s what you’ve decided, I guess there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Maybe I’ll see you around sometime, Jimmy,” he added, abruptly hanging up the phone.

Shit!

Now you’ve done it, Jimmy. Eric’s trying to be your friend, trying to help you out, and what do you do? You blow him off like you don’t care when both of us know you do. You want him to be your friend. You want to meet his friends and become friends with them.

You’re stupid, Jimmy, and for what? How bad can it be letting someone cum in your mouth? Jeff swallows your cum without hesitation and he doesn’t seem any worse for it. You’ve even tasted your own cum with your finger. It doesn’t taste that bad. What’s the big deal?

And Jeff really likes being fucked as well. You know it. He likes that even more than letting you cum in his mouth. If all that moaning he does while you’re pounding his ass is any indication, he probably likes being fucked more than you like fucking him; and that’s pretty hard to believe knowing how much you like doing it to him.

Maybe you’d actually like it if you gave it a chance.

I realized now I had probably made a mistake. I thought about calling Eric back and telling him I had changed my mind. I even walked over to the phone several times. The last time I was about to pick it up when it rang, startling me.

“Uh, hello, this is Jimmy,” I said answering it.

I thought it might be Jeff calling and was surprised when I heard another voice instead.

“Hey, Jimmy, it’s me again; Eric,” he said. “You know, a funny thing happened. Right after we hung up earlier I got a call from Bobbie. He told me he had decided to attend our lunch and club meeting today. That was a surprise because he hardly ever does that anymore, him being a member emeritus.”

“In any event, I mentioned our conversation to him; how you had decided not to join us today. Bobbie was disappointed; very disappointed. He said it was the main reason he had decided to attend today; the chance to see you again, I mean. I told him I’d call you back to see whether I could change your mind. Is there any chance I can do that?”

“Yes,” I responded, eagerly.

Knowing Bobbie would be there made all the difference.

“After you hung up, I started to feel a little better. I mean, my headache went away and then I got to wondering whether I had made a mistake and was just thinking about calling you back. But, yes; I’m feeling better and would definitely like to come along if that’s okay with you and Bobbie.”

“It is,” Eric responded. “In fact, why don’t you meet the two of us in front of the Hawk and Dove around 11:45 a.m. Then the three of us can walk up to Mr. Henry’s. It’s not very far away.”

So that’s what I did. I met Eric and Bobbie in front of the Hawk and Dove at the appointed hour. Bobbie was wearing a navy blue blazer. His shirt was orange, but matched really well, as did the perfectly tailored khaki pants he was wearing. He looked pretty spiffy and masculine dressed up like that.

By contrast, I was just wearing an old pair of jeans and a ratty green t-shirt. I was glad I had grabbed Jeff’s black leather jacket on the way out of the house.

“Nice jacket,” Bobbie said, smiling at me.

Like the day before, I could feel my legs shaking.

“Thanks, Bobbie,” I replied, trying to suppress my nervousness. “But I like what you’re wearing a lot more than my stuff.”

“You look fine,” he replied. “The boys will be falling all over themselves trying to sit next to you.”

From there we walked to Mr. Henry’s. I had never been there before and the waiter ushered us into a small back room that had been reserved for the group, all of whom were already there standing around and talking. I joined them, but didn’t say very much.

Bobbie turned out to be right. The moment I sat down, several of the boys made a dash for the chairs next to me. I had been hoping Eric and Bobbie would do that, but they found chairs on the other side of the table.

On the plus side, Bobbie was sitting directly across from me and seemed to enjoy smiling at me whenever he wasn’t talking to Eric and the other boy seated next to him. The face of the other boy was vaguely familiar and then it occurred to me. It was Del and he was smiling at me as well.

Most of the guys ordered burgers, fries and soda as the waiter walked around the table taking orders, but I was surprised when Bobbie just ordered a salad and water. Eventually the waiter reached me.

“Do you know what you want?” he asked.

I want that boy directly across the table from me, I said to myself; I want him naked and served raw.

“I’ll have the same salad as that boy across the way,” I said; “and water, please.”

Lunch seemed to drag on much too long, but I did my best to be friendly to the boys sitting on either side of me. They were both about the same age as me and good looking. The shorter of the two, Ryan, was a born joker; he kept whispering naughty stories into my ears about the rest of the boys around the table and what they were into sexually.

“What about Bobbie?” I finally asked, anxious to get the scoop on him.

“Bobbie is God,” he replied, softly, and just from the way he said it you could tell he was totally in awe of Bobbie.

“Everyone in the club wants him,” he continued. “I got lucky one time and chose him when we played the game; and even though he was supposed to decide what we did in bed, he let me choose.”

“I asked him to fuck me and it turned out to be the absolute best experience in my life. He’s so good-looking; so incredibly hot in bed. I would do anything for Bobbie. So would the rest of the guys in the club.”

Tell me about it, Ryan, I recall thinking.

Finally, having finished lunch, we walked to a nearby residence on D Street. It was a very nice place, similar in many ways to the house Jeff and I shared but with more furniture. Eventually our host, a boy named Randy, took the floor.

“Okay; as far as club business goes, there’s not very much new to report. If the weather holds up and the trees cooperate, I may schedule a visit to the Tidal Basin next week to take in the cherry blossom trees. It’s always fun to see the trees in bloom, especially since all the cherries in this room were popped so long ago.”

Everyone laughed at that, including me.

“Except me, of course,” Randy added. “I’m still a virgin.”

That caused everyone to hoot and Ryan to toss a pillow at Randy.

“Other than that, the only item on our agenda is our weekly game of Triple C. Line up and take a slip from the bowl in reverse alphabetical order,” he said pointing; “everyone except Jimmy, Del and Bobbie. We’re having a special drawing for Jimmy and Del. Bobbie’s out of luck, of course, because we would need someone else for him to participate.”

After that the game went pretty much the way Eric had described it to me the previous day. It was over pretty quickly and just as quickly the boys paired up to spend time together later that afternoon. Eric had been chosen by a boy named Davey.

“Okay, girls,” Randy said. “This week we have a special drawing featuring just Jimmy and Del. Think of it, girls; we’re going to have two chumps this week. Earlier I polled everyone and the vote to make Del a full member passed unanimously. We’ll vote on Jimmy’s membership next week once Del reports back whether he’s a chicken delight, someone we’d all enjoy getting a taste of.”

Everyone laughed again except me. I was nervous now, wondering what would happen.

“Okay, Del, you get to pull a slip of paper first because you’re a real member now and Jimmy is only a candidate for membership.”

As Del walked toward the bowl, I took a good look at him. He was average looking, nothing special, but seemed nice enough; perhaps a little too quiet and reserved.

Reaching into the bowl, he pulled out one of the slips of paper and handed it to Randy.

“Choice,” Randy announced. “It looks like Jimmy is Del’s chump for this coming week.”

“Omigod,” Ryan muttered and I heard several of the other boys gasp audibly.

I didn’t understand why.

“Is there some kind of problem?” I whispered to Ryan.

“Uh . . . uh . . . probably,” he responded. “I guess you’ll find out soon enough.”

That made me even more nervous.

“Hold on everyone,” Bobbie suddenly interjected. “I mentioned to Del earlier today I thought he had been a member of this club long enough that he ought to have a real choice if he won the drawing. So I told him he could choose between Jimmy and me if he won.”

“You know the answer to that, Bobbie,” Del said. “No offense, Jimmy, but I’m definitely going with Bobbie this week; I hope we can do it some other time, but this may be the only chance I ever get to spend time with Bobbie.”

“Omigod,” Ryan muttered again. “I don’t believe it.”

By now I was totally confused, but Eric was quickly by my side.

“Davey and I will walk you back to your house,” he said. “We’re going back to Davey’s place, but it’s not that far out of the way.”

So that’s what we did. Eric, Davey and I walked back toward my place, silently, at least initially.

“Did I do something wrong?” I finally asked Eric, still confused.

“No,” he replied tersely. “We can talk about it later, perhaps on Thursday when we go out to Bobbie’s place with the rest of the boys.”

2 thoughts on “Chapter 14

  1. Wow. I can’t wait to find out what that was all about. Would Del have made him run for the hills or what? What reputation does he have? So many questions. I’m eagerly waiting. Thanks for sharing.

    1. A bit of mystery is always good, m.b., don’t you think?

      To be honest, I guess I should say I originally planned a much larger role for Del in this story. I don’t think that’s going to happen now, however. We’ll have to clear up the mystery, but it may not prove to be that important to the overall direction of the story.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s