Chapter 03

There are two ways to be fooled.  One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.  Søren Kierkegaard
There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true. Søren Kierkegaard

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Homo!: Chapter 03

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SUMMARY: What if you were homosexual but refused to admit it to anyone, especially yourself? The year is 1971 and fourteen year old Jimmy Barnes has discovered growing up in a small town can be boring in a way not even the solitary masturbation sessions he enjoys so much can relieve. When his best friend takes a job at the local newspaper, Jimmy finds himself on his own for the summer. What follows is a decade long saga with numerous twists and turns, a tale that’ll reveal the best and the worst of the nineteen-seventies and beyond.

WARNING: This story is a work of adult fiction and intended for mature audiences only. Unless otherwise noted, all of the characters in the story are fictional; any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. While some of the places described or mentioned in the story are fictional as well, others may be real. However, some liberties may have been taken with the truth to enhance the story. Please note that the story may describe, depict or otherwise include graphic portrayals of relationships between men and/or adolescent boys that are homosexual in nature. If you do not like or approve of such discussions or it is illegal for you to read such material, consider yourself warned. If you continue to read this story, you are asserting you are fully capable of understanding and legally consenting to reading a work of adult fiction.

NOTICE: This story is my property and protected by the copyright laws of the United States and other countries. It may not be reproduced in any form without my written permission. You may download a single copy to read offline and to share with others as long as you credit me as the author. However, you may not use this work for commercial purposes or to profit from it in any way. You may not use any of the characters or fictional places in the story in your own work without my explicit permission. Nor may you use, alter, transform, or build upon the story in any way. If you share this story with others, you must make clear the terms under which it is licensed to them. The best way to do that is by linking to this web page.

NOTES: Please check these notes every week. If there’s something I want to alert you to as I post each chapter, this is where I will I do so.

HOMO!

Part I – Summer 1971

Chapter 3

Was Jeff a homo? Did he like sucking cock? And if that was the case, would he be interested in sucking mine?

Those were the questions I was determined to answer as I set off for the Houghton playground Monday morning.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it. I didn’t know a lot about homos and most of what I did know came from Tommy, who had gotten it in turn from his brother. But by the end of the weekend I was almost as obsessed as Kevin when it came to the subject of homos.

I couldn’t think of anyone’s cock that needed sucking more than mine. In fact, not hating homos like most other people apparently did, I felt like mine deserved to be sucked more than anyone else’s.

Of course, that didn’t mean it was actually going to happen. Maybe I wasn’t as smart as a lot of people, but I wasn’t completely stupid either. I knew you couldn’t just come out and ask another guy whether he was a homo and liked sucking cock. I needed some kind of plan and by the end of the weekend I had come up with one.

One of the things Tommy had told me about homos was that they didn’t like girls very much. How Jeff felt about girls seemed like the right place to begin. Waiting until things quieted down Monday afternoon, I broached the subject with him as we sat on the table where the two of us usually hung out keeping an eye on the little kids.

“Do you have a girlfriend, Jeff?” I asked, casually.

“Not really,” he replied.

“Why’s that?” I asked.

“I dunno,” he responded. “Too busy with school and other stuff I guess. How about you, Jimmy? Do you have one?”

“No,” I replied, expecting that question. “Girls have always been a mystery to me. I was thinking maybe you could give me some advice about them; you being older, I mean.”

“I’m the last person in the world you should ask,” he responded, laughing. “I may be older than you, but they’re a mystery to me as well.”

“What about Ellen over there?” I said, nodding my head at his female counterpart who was pushing some of the little girls on the swings. “I hear she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Maybe you should ask her out on a date.”

“You’re quite the little matchmaker, aren’t you, Jimmy?” he said, grinning at me. “Not that I don’t like Ellen. I do. She’s a terrific supervisor and really good with the young girls. In high school I recall guys putting her down for not being the prettiest girl in the world. I always thought it was cruel when guys said things like that.”

“You’re right,” I replied, agreeing with him. “That’s wrong. Kind of stupid, too, if you ask me.”

“Why do you say that?” Jeff asked.

“Not that I would know personally, but I’ve heard sometimes it’s the girls who aren’t the prettiest that put out for their boyfriends,” I said, poking his shoulder with my elbow and winking at him. “You know what I mean?”

“No; I don’t know what you mean, Jimmy,” he responded, although it was apparent from the grin on his face he did. “But if you’re that horny, maybe you should ask her out on a date yourself. I don’t have time for dating these days.”

“She’s too old for me,” I replied, dismissing the suggestion. “And I’m not really interested in girls in any event.”

“Neither am I,” he volunteered, sighing.

That made my ears perk up.

He had taken the bait I offered, but what to make of it was harder to say. Jeff hadn’t actually said he didn’t like girls, but he didn’t seem all that interested in them either.

Did that mean he was a homo? I still wasn’t sure. Realizing I needed something more before I could answer the question. I came up with another idea Monday night.

As usual, Jeff asked whether I wanted to go to the lake with him Tuesday after we finished at the playground.

“I do,” I responded. “But I left my swimsuit at home.”

Up until then I had worn my swimsuit under my pants in the afternoon knowing Jeff would probably invite me. But I had deliberately chosen not to do so that day.

“I can give you a ride home to pick it up if you want,” he said.

So that’s what we did. Jeff drove me over to my house on Walker Street.

“Do you want to come in and meet my mother while I get it?” I asked.

“Uh, probably not,” he responded. “I can wait out here until you change. It shouldn’t take long.”

I wasn’t sure whether not wanting to meet my mother should count against him so I let that pass. Dashing into the house, I retrieved my swim trunks and then quickly ran back to the car.

“You didn’t change,” Jeff said, taking notice.

“I figured I could use the changing room at the lake like you do. That way I won’t get the car seat wet anymore.”

“It’s not a big deal,” he responded. “It’s not like this car is brand new or something.”

It only took us a few minutes to get to the lake and into the changing room. There was no one around that late in the day, which was good from my point of view. I figured that’d give me a chance to see whether he was checking me out while I took off my clothes and changed into my swimsuit.

Stripping down, I looked over to where Jeff was changing on the opposite side of the room. He was facing away from me entirely, not peeking at all. That was frustrating.

“Does this suit look too baggy for me?” I asked.

Turning around, he seemed startled to see me standing there totally naked while holding the suit up for him to look at.

“Uh, no,” he said, quickly turning around so his back was to me again.

He was naked as well by now and his butt was staring at me, but soon enough it disappeared as he quickly pulled up his swimsuit.

I had never really thought about swimsuits before, but now I could see how small his was.

That’s skimpier than the suits most of the guys wear, Jimmy.

And it’s purple as well.

At least it was mostly purple. It had stripes as well, but none of the boys I knew wore swimsuits that color.

“I need to get a suit like yours,” I volunteered; “something tighter and more colorful. Your suit really shows off your body to best effect.”

“Do you think so?” he said, turning around and facing me now that I had my swimsuit on.

“I do,” I said.

Even as I said that, I couldn’t help noticing what seemed like a slight bulge in his suit. He wasn’t completely stiff, but he wasn’t totally soft either.

I wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“That’s why I want to get one like yours,” I continued. “I think I’m in good enough shape to wear something like that.”

“You are,” he agreed. “You’d look good in a Speedo, Jimmy; maybe something in red and black. I think those colors would look good on you.”

Really, Jeff? Why would you think something like that?

I mean, I had never thought about what colors other guys wore or looked good in and didn’t know any other boy who thought about things like that; maybe girls did, but not boys.

To me the evidence Jeff was a homo was beginning to pile up.

Later, after spending some time sunning ourselves, still another thought occurred to me.

“Are you hot yet?” I asked.

“A little,” he replied.

“Let’s go swimming,” I said. “I’ll race you out to the raft.”

With that I raced down the hill and into the water. Jeff followed in hot pursuit and we reached the raft at about the same time.

“Let’s dive off the tower,” I suggested; “you first.”

Climbing the ladder behind him, I got a really good look at his butt. It was round and firm and tight and his suit showed it off to best effect.

I bet that’s why he wears a suit like that, I recall thinking. He likes showing his body off.

But, then again, why not; he’s got a pretty nice body.

Jeff made his way to the edge of the diving tower and jumped off. Eventually he reappeared in the water below and signaled for me to join him.

I had thought carefully about this and dove off the board. Knifing into the water, I forced myself as deep as I could and then made a submarine run straight up at Jeff. When I was within reach, I placed my hands on his hips and started to pull down his swimsuit.

I could hear him laughing and was able to get it down to his knees before he managed to reach down with his hands and pull it back up.

Surfacing, I could see him still laughing. He hadn’t taken offense.

“What were you doing, Jimmy,” he said, grinning at me.

“I was just trying to pull that skimpy suit of yours off,” I responded. “If I did, I was going to swim to shore and leave you stranded naked out here in the water until you promised to do something special for me.”

“Oh, I see,” he responded. “Well, you almost succeeded; but like they say, almost doesn’t count in life. Being the nice guy I am, however, I’ll probably still do something special for you if you ask politely. You’ve definitely earned some favors the last couple of weeks with all the help you’ve been for me.”

“I appreciate it, Jimmy,” he continued. “I don’t know what I would have done without you; plus you keep me in stitches all the time with those stupid jokes of yours. So yeah, you’ve definitely earned a reward. What can I do for you?”

“Nothing right now,” I responded. “I’ll have to think about it; make it something extra special, something you wouldn’t do for just anyone.”

“Sure,“ he responded. “Be sure to make it something special, something you would enjoy.”

How about something like sucking my cock, Jeff? That’s something I’d enjoy.

“Let me know when you decide,” he added, nodding his head.

Oh, I will, Jeff; you’ll definitely be the first to know.

****

After that the two of us just laid on the hill sunning ourselves. Jeff seemed to like just lying there in the sun, near naked, showing his body off. Like I said, he had a nice body; I’ll give him that. It was the kind of body I was hoping I would have by the time I was the same age as him; smooth, well-tanned, and kind of defined and muscular.

But that afternoon proved frustrating. As much as I liked spending time with him at the lake, I still wasn’t sure whether Jeff was a homo.

Nor, in spite of my best efforts to find out, was I any closer to an answer by the time Thursday evening rolled around. Sometimes Jeff would say or do things that made me think he might be, but there were other times when I was less certain of that.

The only thing I knew for sure was I had gone to sleep every night that week dreaming of Jeff sucking my cock. The more I thought about it, the more obsessed I became to find out whether he actually would do something like that. It was fun daydreaming about it, but not nearly as much fun as I thought it would be if he actually did it to me.

And yet by now I realized he wasn’t just going to come out and tell me. I would have to persuade him to do it somehow.

And just how are you going to do something like that, Jimmy? I asked.

“Hey, Jeff, excuse me for asking, but are you a cocksucker? Would you like to suck mine?”

That won’t do it; it’ll only make him mad at you.

I was on my own that evening. Jeff was at some meeting the city was having with all of the playground supervisors. Not having anything better to do, I decided to stop by and see Tommy.

Kevin was the one who answered my knock on the door when I got there. The two of us had never been the best of friends and what happened next was all too familiar.

“Well, well, look who’s here?” he said, sizing me up. “I hear you’re spending all your time with your boyfriend Jeff these days, Jimmy. Has he tried to kiss you yet? Or did he dump you for some other cute boy this evening?”

It was Kevin being his usual annoying self.

“He isn’t my boyfriend, Kevin,” I responded; “and, no, he hasn’t tried to kiss me either. What do you have against the guy?”

“I just don’t like him,” Kevin said.

“That isn’t a good reason to go around spreading rumors about him,” I replied.

“They’re not rumors,” he said. “I know for a fact what he is; but, then again, you’re too stupid to understand any of this, Jimmy. I’m not surprised he wouldn’t be interested in someone dumb like you.”

Then stepping aside, he let me into the house.

“Hey, Tommy, your girlfriend’s here,” he shouted up the stairs.

It made my blood boil!

I hated Kevin and was just about to tell him that when Tommy arrived at the hallway entrance. Having done so, Kevin retreated into the house.

“Why does your brother hate Jeff so much?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Tommy replied. “There’s some bad blood there, but don’t ask me why. We’re barely speaking these days. He’s moody all the time so I try to avoid him. What’s up with you, Jimmy; what brings you here?”

“I was wondering whether you wanted to walk up to the Dairy Queen and get an ice cream cone.”

“Sure, I guess we could do that,” he replied.

So that’s what we did. We walked up to the Dairy Queen and got a couple of cones. Sitting down at one of the benches outside, we talked about his job and what else was happening. Finished, we walked back to his house.

“Do you want to go swimming with me this weekend?” I asked before leaving.

“Maybe,” he said. “If you can fit me into your busy schedule and Jeff won’t mind.”

“Oh, come on, Tommy,” I said. “Give me a break; it’s hard enough putting up with that shit from your brother. I don’t need to hear it from my best friend.”

“I’ll think about it,” he said. “But, yeah, sure; we can probably do that.”

Walking back to my house, I remember sighing.

Why is everyone picking on me for being friends with Jeff? He’s a nice guy; a lot nicer than Kevin, that’s for sure.

It isn’t everyone, Jimmy. It’s Kevin. Tommy’s only giving you a hard time because Kevin’s got such a hard-on about Jeff for some reason.

Maybe that’s true, but Kevin sure seems certain Jeff’s a homo. Maybe you should ask him straight out; stop trying to trick him into telling you and just ask him.

Maybe I should, but how do you do something like that?

Don’t be stupid like you are most of the time. Don’t use one of those words your friends use all the time: cocksucker, fairy, faggot, pervert, homo, queer.

There were a ton of words like that and I realized I couldn’t use any of them; not just because they would make Jeff feel bad although they almost certainly would if he was a homo. But they really were nasty words and that’s not how I felt about him.

Jeff was a nice guy. I liked him. I just wanted him to know it would be okay if he was a homo and wanted to suck my cock.

Different, I recall thinking; that’s the word Tommy used when we talked about this. Maybe that’s the word I should use.

I mean, everyone’s different somehow, aren’t they? I don’t know why people make such a big deal about something like that.

There you go, the voice responded. Help him feel comfortable telling you the truth. Let him know it won’t change how you feel about him; that you’re not like your friends. That if he really likes sucking cock, you don’t have a problem letting him suck yours.

Yeah, but what if he wants me to suck his cock in return? I’m not a homo. I’m normal; I’m not going to do something like that. No way!

Then be honest about it, Jimmy; just tell him you’re normal. He’s a nice guy. He’ll understand.

Will he, I wondered?

I wish I could be sure about that.

****

It was Friday afternoon and by now I had decided I needed to know one way or the other. I didn’t want another weekend to pass without knowing. The whole thing was driving me crazy.

Finished chasing the boys out of the school and barricading the doors, I headed up to the third floor and made my way to the teacher’s lounge. I figured Jeff would come looking for me up there eventually and sure enough he did.

“Where have you been?” he asked. “And what are you doing up here of all places?”

“I was waiting for you to find me,” I said, grinning at him.

“Oh, yeah,” he said; “well, consider yourself found. Do you want to go swimming with me today?”

“No,” I replied, firmly. “I want to talk to you.”

“Oh yeah; about what?” he asked.

“I want to talk about you and me,” I said.

“What about you and me?”

I hadn’t really planned it all out and wasn’t exactly sure what to say. Taking a deep breath, I found some words to start with.

“Um, well, I was just thinking we’re friends; aren’t we?”

“Sure,” he replied.

“Maybe even best friends,” I added, pressing the point.

“I thought Tommy was your best friend,” Jeff responded.

“Tommy used to be my best friend,” I said, “but he works all the time so now I’ve decided you’re my best friend.”

“Thank you,” he replied. “That’s quite an honor. I never really had a best friend growing up so it’s nice to know you consider me a good friend.”

“Not just a good friend, Jeff,” I said, trying to emphasize the point. “You’re my best friend. I hope you feel the same about me.”

“Uh, well, sure, Jimmy; I do. I mean, I don’t have a better friend than you in North Adams so I guess that makes you my best friend.”

“That’s important to me, Jeff; because uh, you know, best friends don’t keep secrets from one another,” I continued; “at least I don’t think they do. Do you?”

“No; I guess not,” he said. “Best friends should always be honest with one another I suppose. But what’s this all about, Jimmy?”

“Uh, well, I just wanted you to know I like you,” I responded. “You like me, too, don’t you, Jeff?”

I guess I was hoping that would be enough to get him to confess, but I was wrong.

“Um, well, sure; I like you, Jimmy,” he replied, calmly. “I like all the kids I’ve met at the playground. But you’ve been a really big help to me all summer and that makes you special. What’s not to like?”

“No,” I said, pressing the point. “I’m not talking about liking me the same way you like the other kids. You’re different, Jeff, and you like me in a different way, don’t you? I can tell.”

Jeff stared at me for a couple of moments without saying anything. When he finally did, the tone of his voice had changed; somehow become more distant and harder to read.

“I . . . uh . . . I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” he responded, looking down at the floor.

But I couldn’t help feeling he was beginning to understand what I was getting at.

“Yes, you do,” I replied, refusing to give him any space to back off.

“And I just wanted you to know I don’t care what Tommy’s older brother says about you,” I added, recalling what Kevin had said about knowing for sure.

“What did Kevin say about me?” Jeff asked, suddenly agitated.

He began to pace back and forth across the room as I sat there staring at him.

Although Kevin had never said anything specific about Jeff, just the mention of his name had seemed to change everything. It was like Jeff knew what Kevin might have said and was bothered by that; very bothered apparently. I decided to press the point harder.

“Uh, well, he used some bad words I’m not going to repeat,” I replied. “I don’t like it when people use those kinds of words. But you know what I’m talking about, Jeff, and it isn’t a problem for me. It’s not something to be afraid about. I like you too. You’ve always treated me nice, like I’m someone important, someone special; not like my parents or all the rest of the adults in town. They treat me like I’m some little kid. You don’t; and I know why you don’t and that’s okay.”

“Kevin’s a liar,” Jeff said out of the blue, his voice cracking.

It made me wonder whether he had heard a word I said. He seemed distracted; if anything, even more agitated.

“He spread a lot of nasty rumors about me back when we were in high school together,” Jeff continued. “They made everyone hate me and ruined my life back then; and now he’s doing it again with someone like you? Someone nice who actually likes me. It isn’t fair.”

The next thing I knew there were tears streaming down his face. He wasn’t sobbing or anything like that, but he was obviously pretty upset.

Whoa, I recall thinking. Why is he crying like that?

By now I was beginning to feel guilty about raising the whole thing, but also realized it was too late to do very much about it. The damage was done.

“What do you want me to say, Jimmy?” he asked, wringing his hands together as he tried to compose himself.

“I treat you special because you are special, as least you’re special to me. Unlike me, you’re happy all the time; always cracking jokes, always making people feel good about themselves. I like you. Just being around you is fun and makes me feel good. That’s why I like being friends with you. What more can I say?”

Part of me wanted to drop the whole thing at that point. I didn’t want Jeff to feel bad. But there was another part of me that realized this was the only chance I would ever get and I needed to go for broke.

“There’s a lot more you can say, Jeff,” I responded. “You said yourself best friends should always be honest with one another. You can tell me the truth. I know you’re different and that doesn’t matter to me. It won’t change anything. Why is it so hard to tell me the truth? I’ll still like you.”

He looked at me and sighed.

“It just is,” he replied. “It’s something you learn to keep secret after a few experiences with someone like Kevin. And what good would it do after all? It won’t change anything.”

“It won’t change anything unless you want things to change,” I said. “You’re my best friend now, Jeff, and I want things to change for both of us. I want us to become even better friends; a lot closer.”

“Why?” he asked.

“I don’t know why exactly,” I lied, feeling guilty again because I knew exactly what I wanted out of all of this. “I just do. I think you’ve probably been looking for a best friend for a very long time, Jeff. I want to be your best friend. Why won’t you let me be?”

“I wish you could be, Jimmy, but you’re too young to be best friends with someone like me.”

That’s when I knew it was true; that Jeff was a homo. I decided to go for broke.

“That hurts, Jeff,” I responded; “that hurts a lot. Up until now you’ve always treated me like an adult, but now you’re telling me I’m just some stupid little kid. That’s exactly what Kevin told me last night, Jeff. He told me I was too stupid to understand any of this and you wouldn’t be interested in being best friends with someone stupid like me.”

“I thought you were different from Kevin, Jeff, but now I’m not sure. You’re not the only one in the world who needs a friend you know. I need one too; and I also know exactly what you want and that’s what I want too, Jeff. It isn’t a problem. I know it would be for most of the other boys, but it’s not a problem for me. It’s okay for you to like me, Jeff. I won’t tell anyone. I want you to like me because I like you too.”

He stood there staring at me while I said all of this and it was hard to know what he was thinking.

“I better leave now,” he said.

And yet, having said it, he didn’t leave. He just stood there staring at me. I think he realized by now I had discovered his secret and wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t want me to hate him and I didn’t hate him, of course. I actually felt bad for him.

“That’s it, Jeff?” I asked. “You don’t want to be friends with me? You just want to leave?”

“I do want to be friends with you, Jimmy, but . . .”

“But what, Jeff,” I interjected; “we’re either best friends or we’re not.”

And then, suddenly, it happened. Jeff looked down at the floor.

“I need a hug,” he said, softly, his resistance broken. “I need someone to like me.”

It was an opening, the only one I was going to get. Standing up, I walked over, wrapped my arms around Jeff, and gave him the hug he needed. Then I rested my head on his chest, trying to reassure him I was his friend.

That was all it took. I hadn’t realized how much he needed a friend; and because he needed a friend and I was willing to be the friend he needed, it wasn’t too hard to get him to do what I wanted.

I mean, he resisted at first; said it was wrong. But I kept pleading with him and eventually he gave in and did what I wanted him to do.

The whole thing turned out to be incredible, even better than I had dreamed it would be. Although some of what happened was kind of weird; at least it seemed that way to me at first.

****

It was evening and I was alone in my bed and I had been going over everything that happened that afternoon repeatedly. It had been the most awesome day of my life.

One thing had led to another and then to another still. A hug turned into a kiss on my cheek, which surprised me; then a kiss on my lips, which shocked me even more. My first instinct was to slug him, but I just turned my face away that first time.

I hadn’t been expecting the kissing. It had never been part of my dream. But after thinking about it, I decided it was okay and let him do it.

All of this will come in handy when you have a real girlfriend, Jimmy, I said to myself. This is just practice for the real thing. You’ll be glad when girls spread the word you’re a good kisser, but you need to learn how to kiss and Jeff can help you with that.

It isn’t a big deal.

We kissed for a long time after I decided it was okay and the funny thing is it got me even more aroused than I already was. I could also see it was having the same effect on Jeff.

The undressing had come next. Jeff seemed reluctant at first, but I was pretty determined by that time because both of us had been naked in my dreams and that’s how I wanted it to be in real life. Soon enough we were naked.

The licking had been still another surprise. I guess I had assumed everything would happen quickly once we were naked, but that turned out to be wrong. Jeff moved from kissing me on the lips to kissing my neck; from my neck to my nipples and from those to my bellybutton, which kind of tickled and made me giggle.

And then he was licking me all over my body. Although a surprise, I liked it.

You need to remember which parts you enjoy being licked the most, Jimmy, I told myself. You’ll want to teach your girlfriend to do that when you get one.

And then eventually the best part of all, of course. We were just standing there kissing again and by now I was throbbing and uncertain how long I could hold out. Anxious to move on, I put my hands on his shoulders and pressed them gently. Jeff understood and kneeled down in front of me.

Watching him do that took my breath away. It was the most exciting thing that happened that afternoon; the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me for that matter. Here was another guy, someone I liked, about to do what I wanted him to do. I had never felt more excited in my life, more powerful, more in control of things seeing him kneeling in front of me like that.

Lying in bed with my eyes closed, I whispered the words I had used that afternoon.

“Do it, Jeff.”

After that everything was pretty much a blur.

Looking back on it now, I wasn’t even sure how long the whole thing took.

But it was awesome; of that I was positive. Indeed, when the whole thing was over and we were laying there on the couch next to one another, I remember the thought crossing my mind.

This is going to be the best summer ever, Jimmy, the perfect summer.

****

I didn’t see Jeff the rest of the weekend even though I spent a lot of time hanging around all the places we usually spent time together.

On Monday he seemed to spend most of the morning trying to avoid me. In the afternoon, no longer able to do so, he finally confessed he was sorry for what he had done; that he had spent the whole weekend agonizing about it and wanted me to know it would never happen again.

I felt bad for him. He needed a friend more than anyone I had ever met in my life and I was happy to be his friend. I knew he had enjoyed it as much as me at the time, but now I could see just how genuine his despair was.

I spent the rest of the afternoon reassuring him he had done nothing wrong; that we were best friends after all and best friends helped one another out with stuff like that. I think knowing I didn’t hate him for being a homo made all the difference in the end.

By the end of the day he was feeling better about things and so was I but for an entirely different reason. Having already decided this was going to be my best summer ever, I was determined that neither Jeff nor I were going to squander a single day.

And that day, like Friday, we didn’t. Nor did we waste any of the rest of the days that summer. It just kept getting better and better and I was happy about that.

I had been right. It was my best summer ever; the perfect summer.

End of Part I

4 thoughts on “Chapter 03

    1. That’s probably my fault, Captain. In thinking about it, I guess I did end up portraying Jimmy as more skillful in the art of seduction than I intended.

      I spent a lot of the chapter trying to show just how clumsy his efforts to unmask Jeff were. Then, when they were finally alone, what I was trying to convey was that Jimmy wasn’t getting very far until he happened to mention Kevin; that it was Jeff’s reaction to the mention of Kevin that ultimately undid him more than Jimmy’s efforts.

      Jimmy obviously saw how Jeff reacted to the mention of Kevin and was able to take advantage of that, but a better writer probably could have portrayed Jimmy as less skillful. I was looking for clumsy and lucky, but your reaction suggests I didn’t succeed.

      I’m not sure I got Jimmy’s reaction to being kissed very well either. In any event, I’ll have more to say about this in the introduction to next week’s chapter.

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