Click on the link below to read Chapter 1 of Summer Boys, Summer Dreams in the pdf format (better formatting).
Or just read it below online in the html format.
SUMMARY: Two boys growing up together in an idyllic beachfront community share a passion for baseball. One excels at the game and plays it with reckless abandon; the other, less talented, studies the game and those who play it, hoping someday to share what he learns with others. Best friends since childhood, the two have seen how baseball can bring them closer together. Now, having just graduated from high school, it’s about to show them a crueler side of the game. Baseball is about to separate them even though neither wants that to happen. You can find a longer synopsis of the entire story here. Please note that italics are typically used to indicate what a character is thinking or saying to himself.
WARNING: This story is a work of adult fiction and intended for mature audiences only. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Unless otherwise indicated by context, all of the characters, leagues, stadiums, teams and clubs portrayed or mentioned in this story are fictional, not depictions of real people, leagues, stadiums, teams and clubs. Please note that the story may describe, depict or otherwise include graphic portrayals of relationships between men and/or adolescent boys that are homosexual in nature. If you do not like or approve of such discussions or it is illegal for you to read such material, consider yourself warned. If you continue to read this story, you are asserting that you are fully capable of understanding and legally consenting to reading a work of adult fiction.
NOTICE: This story is my property and protected by the copyright laws of the United States and other countries. It may not be reproduced in any form without my written permission. You may download a single copy to read offline and to share with others as long as you credit me as the author. However, you may not use this work for commercial purposes or to profit from it in any way. You may not use any of the characters, leagues, stadiums, teams, clubs, or other fictional locations described in the story in your own work without my explicit permission. Nor may you use, alter, transform, or build upon the story in any way. If you share this story with others, you must make clear the terms under which it is licensed to them. The best way to do that is by linking to this web page.
NOTES: Please check these notes every week. If there’s something I want to alert you to as I post each chapter, this is where I will I do so. For now, please be aware Chapters 1 thru 5 (Part I) will typically be longer than most of the rest of the chapters in this story and will alternate between the points of view of the two main characters. I also want to say a special word of thanks to Tom H. for reading and commenting on the story in advance. He’s saved me from numerous mistakes. More, he’s been a good counselor and a terrific source of support, both for this story and others I’ve written. His encouragement and support are greatly appreciated; his friendship keeps me striving to become a better writer.
THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER: Never having heard from anyone that they were useful and given the work involved, I’ve decided to no longer provide summaries of the previous chapter.
SUMMER BOYS, SUMMER DREAMS
It was humiliating and yet it was exciting as well. The anticipation was driving me crazy.
I would be embarrassed when he walked in. I knew it; and that made the whole thing even more exciting than it already was.
It was late afternoon and I was at home taking a nap before the big game that evening. Ordinarily I would have been getting ready for the game, not resting. But tonight was going to be different. Tonight was going to be the most important game of my life.
Coach had ordered me to get some rest before the game, but sleeping was the last thing on my mind. I was too nervous to sleep. Not about the game that evening; playing baseball never made me nervous. I was nervous about something else.
Knowing my mother was working, Hunter had volunteered to stop by and make sure I got to the game on time; and since the room was warm and I knew he was coming by, I had stripped off my clothes and put on the one thing I knew would interest him more than anything else.
Hunter was my very best friend and I knew the effect they would have, but I must have fallen asleep because I never heard him enter my room.
All I heard was the soft whistle and then the words that aroused and excited me.
“Jesus, you look totally hot in those panties, Ethan.”
Looking into the mirror that provided a perfect view of my room, I could see Hunter standing at the front of my bed. He was staring at my backside and rubbing his groin, and his groin was responding with a very nice bulge.
I remember feeling humiliated being caught like that, but I had worn those red panties deliberately because I knew the reaction they would produce.
Hunter had stolen them from his older sister a long time ago and asked me to wear them. It was a turn on for him, something I saved for special occasions; and now, having planned the whole thing so carefully, I allowed myself to revel in my humiliation because he had reacted exactly as I expected.
So I wasn’t surprised when I looked in the mirror again and saw him already stripping.
His t-shirt was off and he was fumbling with the buckle to his pants and I knew those would be off quickly enough as well. And knowing Hunter like I did, I suspected he wouldn’t be wearing briefs beneath those jeans. He would have come prepared for the evening and would be wearing a jock so no one would realize how turned on he became whenever he looked at me.
“Do we have enough time?” I asked as he continued stripping.
“Definitely,” he responded. “I came by early figuring you might want me to, um, you know . . . to get you relaxed before the game.”
I had to laugh. I knew the word he wanted to use, but he wasn’t ready to use it right now. He was trying to be polite. Later, in the throes of passion, he would toss politeness aside and use the word he wanted to use, the word he knew I wanted to hear as much as he wanted to speak it.
As I continued staring into the mirror, I could see I had been right. By now his pants were off and Hunter was totally naked except for the jock he was wearing. Seeing him almost naked like that took my breath away. He was so awesome; just looking at him was an incredible turn on for me.
I could see myself smiling in the mirror as well, partly from thinking about what Hunter was about to do. But there was another reason as well. Hunter had brought his dog Buddy along and I could see him over in the corner of the bedroom. He was sitting there patiently as his master stripped, climbed on to the bed, and positioned himself above me.
I don’t know why exactly, but knowing Buddy was watching the whole thing was a turn on for me. Hunter was into the whole dominance thing and I loved submitting to him; and having another set of eyes watching him dominate me only enhanced the experience. It heightened my sense of humiliation and I liked being humiliated like that.
I had never told Hunter any of this because it would have been as big a turn on for him as for me; and knowing Hunter, he would have wanted to find someone to watch the two of us having sex. But who could you trust to do something like that? The whole thing was a slippery slope.
First Hunter would want someone to watch and then he would want whoever was watching to video the two of us getting it on; and eventually he would want to put it up on one of the porn channels on the internet and I would probably let him because the whole thing excited me at least as much as it excited him.
So for now I was content to let Buddy do the watching.
His head was tilted to one side and there was a quizzical look on his face that suggested he wasn’t entirely certain what was about to transpire. But his eyes were glued to his master’s cock, by now hard, fully erect, and throbbing. He had watched Hunter do this to me before and something about that turned me on. It made me wonder whether he understood what was happening.
As I continued to stare at the mirror, I could see Hunter kneeling above me, examining my body from head to toe as he planned his assault.
“You have such an awesome body, Ethan,” he said. “I wish my body was as defined as yours.”
“I love your body, Hunter,” I replied. “How many times do I have to tell you that? I love everything about your body. You need to stop worrying about it so much.”
He needed the reassurance. I knew it. Between gymnastics and all of the sports I played, my body was better developed than his; and although we were about the same height, he was thin for seventeen. Some of the guys at school used to tease him about it and that made him self-conscious.
But I wasn’t lying. I did like his body a lot.
I liked everything about Hunter.
Placing his hands on my lower spine, he pressed hard and that caused me to moan.
“Your lower back is really tight,” he said. “Let me see if I can loosen it up for you.”
He began working the knot and I was thankful for that because it felt incredibly good and being loose was important to playing shortstop. Eventually his hands drifted across to my hips and I knew what he wanted just from the way he allowed them to linger there. I lifted my hips from the bed, then each of my legs, allowing him to remove the panties.
He held them up to his nose and inhaled several times.
“They smell so good,” he said, “just like your groin and ass. Unlike Mary Ellen, your bottom smells terrific, Ethan. Her pussy stinks, but yours smells so good. I love your scent so much.”
“Thanks,” I replied, embarrassed.
“And you also have the most totally awesome ass in the world,” he added, rubbing it with his hands. “I mean, I know I’ve told you that a million times, but it takes my breath away every time I look at it.”
“Every time you look at it or every time you think about what you’re going to do to it?” I asked, grinning, causing Hunter to laugh.
“That too,” he responded. “But sometimes I actually dream about your ass at night. Did you know that, Ethan; that I dream about your ass sometimes?”
“I dream about you being inside my ass, Hunter, and not just at night either,” I replied. “Sometimes I find myself day-dreaming about that in school. You’re going to ruin my grades and then I’ll never get to go to college with you.”
Hearing that, Hunter started to giggle.
“We just graduated, dude,” he said. “How can I ruin your grades? Besides, it’s all part of the master plan. Both of us already know you’re not going to college. I’m going to college, but you’re going to be drafted by the Baltimore Blues tomorrow. By the time I finish college, you’ll be playing major league ball and I can become your agent in addition to being your boyfriend.”
He was trying to reassure me again and I appreciated that. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be drafted or to play professional baseball for a living. I wanted to be with Hunter and we had talked a lot about rooming together in college. So he was trying to reassure me again that going our separate ways didn’t mean the end for us.
Like I said, I needed the reassurance.
Hunter had been kneading my cheeks throughout the conversation and now I could feel his hands spreading them wide and I started to hyperventilate because I knew what came next. And then without so much as a word it was happening; his tongue was licking the enchanted circle, the name he had given my hole a long time ago.
He was pushing his tongue in and by then I had lost it completely like I always did. I was begging him to go deeper and pounding the bed with my fists as the pleasure engulfed me.
“Oh, Jesus, fuck; do it, Hunter,” I pleaded. “Stick it in deeper. Lick me.”
Knowing how much I loved it, he lingered longer than usual and that made me laugh. He had resisted the idea initially, but now he was willing to do it without being asked because he knew how aroused and excited I got whenever he did it.
Truth be told, I was certain he actually liked doing it now and not just because he knew he would totally own me by doing it. He just liked licking my ass.
But now he was ready to move on.
“Okay, so I’m thinking we should do it doggy-style this afternoon,” he said. “In addition to being fun, it’ll be a good learning experience for Buddy.”
Thinking about that, both us giggled simultaneously.
The decision itself didn’t surprise me. There was something about seeing me down on my hands and knees, totally helpless, totally submissive, just waiting there patiently to be mounted and fucked that was a turn on for Hunter; and knowing how much it turned him on was a turn on for me as well.
“I don’t know,” I replied. “Isn’t Buddy still a puppy? Do you think we should be exposing him to something evil like this?”
“Definitely,” Hunter responded, rubbing my cheeks. “He’s ready now and what better way to learn? Hell, maybe I’ll give him a turn after I’ve finished with you. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Ethan?”
I remember giggling; nervously. There were times when the two of us shared fantasies, but I didn’t want to go there right now.
“No, I wouldn’t,” I responded, perhaps a tad too emphatically.
“You’re the only one allowed in there, Hunter, so you can just forget about that; no way that’s ever going to happen. But I was definitely hoping you would do me doggy-style today. If being your bitch helps Buddy learn, so much the better.”
I pulled myself up from the bed and assumed the position I knew he wanted me in.
“Looking good, Ethan,” he said, as I pressed my face sideways against the bed and stared into the mirror, then arched my ass back up toward him.
“I can never decide which I like looking at more, that cute face of yours or this incredible ass.”
Talking dirty was rapidly becoming part of our bedroom routine. It was a turn on for both of us.
Hunter began applying the lube. These days he was never without it; and now he was pressing the stuff between my cheeks and using one of his fingers to roughly push it into the enchanted circle. I knew there would be more coming, more K-Y, more fingers. Relaxing, I allowed myself to revel in the pleasure I was experiencing.
We had talked about Hunter fucking me without lube the first time and had even tried, but neither of us liked it. I remember it hurting and Hunter said it was uncomfortable for him as well so we finally gave up.
The next afternoon the two of us marched down to the drug store after school and bought the K-Y and an extra supply of condoms as well.
“And just what is this stuff for?” the college-age clerk behind the counter asked, smirking at the two of us.
But Hunter was cool about the whole thing.
“I have a hot date with my girlfriend tonight,” he responded. “Tonight is definitely the night the two of us finally get it on. Isn’t that right, Ethan?”
“Definitely,” I agreed.
Later we joked about it on the way back to my house, but I remember being turned on as well. It made me wonder. Was Hunter just joking when he said it or was he trying to tell me he wanted me to be his girlfriend?
I didn’t really think so. Hunter wasn’t ashamed of me or of what we were doing. He realized each of us liked different things. He liked topping me. I liked bottoming for him. We were best friends and it was awesome knowing we were a perfect match sexually. And yet there were times when I worried he might think I wasn’t masculine somehow
He had never said anything to suggest that; in fact, he was always telling me the exact opposite, how masculine I was. And yet he was doing what guys usually do while I was the one spreading my legs like a girl.
It made me wonder at times.
As Hunter continued applying the lube, I allowed my mind to drift off. Here I was about to be fucked by my very best friend and I remember thinking that was still another reason I loved Rehoboth Beach. There was nowhere else in the world I had ever wanted to be. It was the closest thing to living in the Garden of Eden I could think of.
There was, first of all, the sun, the sand and the sea.
The very earliest memories I have are of being plopped down on the beach by my mother and then spending hours and hours playing in the sand.
I loved the feelings aroused when she applied the sunscreen to me. I loved building sand castles and then trying to protect them from the approaching waves with deep trenches and elaborate moats. I loved fleeing to the protection of her welcoming arms beneath our beach umbrella whenever the heat from the sun reached its peak and became overpowering.
And yet, as much as I loved the beach, I loved the ocean even more. There were times when I would sit on the beach from dawn to dusk and just stare out as far as my eyes could see, wondering whether there was another boy across the way doing the same thing as me.
Usually the ocean was friendly and welcoming and I loved just sitting there watching the waves crash against the shore again and again. There was something soothing and mesmerizing about that for me. And even when the ocean turned angry and violent, I loved watching its fury as it reminded us we lived where we did only by its sufferance.
There seemed to be a special kinship between me and the ocean. I never felt threatened by it even during the very worst storms.
“Okay, I’m finished lubing you up,” Hunter said, interrupting my trip down memory lane and setting the tube of K-Y aside. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah,” I responded.
“Ready for what?” he asked, and I knew what he was looking for so I humored him.
“I’m ready to be fucked by you, master.”
It made him giggle. Then he pressed through my cheeks quickly and easily and came to a rest against the enchanted circle.
I knew he would linger there, pressing forward gently occasionally to remind me what was about to happen but not making any real effort to gain entry. By now Hunter was an expert at fucking my ass. He would toy with it until I was completely aroused just from anticipating what was about to happen; and then, knowing I couldn’t wait any longer, he would make me beg him.
Today was no different; and in spite of all the promises I had made to myself, it only took a couple of minutes before I couldn’t stand the anticipation anymore. I needed him inside me.
“Do it, Hunter,” I whispered.
“Do what?” he asked, as if he didn’t have a clue.
He loved taunting me that way. It was a turn on for him hearing me beg and I knew I couldn’t resist so that’s what I did.
I begged him.
“Fuck me, dude. I love you so much and I love feeling you inside me. Fuck me, Hunter. Please? Please fuck me.”
Sometimes he continued dragging it out, but today I sensed he was anxious to mount me. He pressed forward gently and I could hear the silent pop as the magical mushroom, our term for the tip of his cock, slipped inside me and the muscles in my ass clenched down on it firmly, locking him in place.
“Oh, Jesus, fuck,” I moaned. “You don’t know how good that feels, Hunter.”
“Oh but I do,” he replied. “I love how it feels as much as you, Ethan; probably even more.”
Looking into the mirror, I could see Buddy still sitting there staring at the two of us.
I wondered whether seeing his master mounted on me held any interest for him. I remember thinking it must because his eyes were firmly glued to the two of us and there seemed to be something different about them now; something primordial, something harkening back to the origins of life itself, something similar to what Hunter and I were beginning to experience.
I closed my eyes and tried to get into the moment and then Hunter pushed forward swiftly and hard and I could feel his pubes brushing against my ass. I loved how that felt, loved knowing he was buried completely inside me now.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I responded.
He started pumping back and forth; slowly at first, then more rapidly, back and forth until his cock and my ass were moving together in rhythm. They were a perfect match and both of us knew it.
I allowed my mind to drift off and remember thinking there was nothing I liked more than this, nothing I liked more than letting Hunter own me.
By now he was into it as well, totally into it. He was talking to me, telling me what he was doing; telling me what he was feeling, telling me there was nothing in life that would ever compare to what he was doing to me right at this moment.
He had fucked me enough by then for me to recognize he was enjoying himself. He was pounding my ass harder now and the sound of flesh slapping flesh was another signal as well. His strokes were coming more rapidly, another sure sign; and then there were those hips of his.
I loved them so much.
He was twisting them from side to side, grinding them as hard as he could against my ass, and I loved how that felt as well.
But I knew Hunter was there for sure because he had located my spot and was playing with it, making me moan louder and louder, making me reach for my cock and start stroking in rhythm with him.
“Oh, Jesus, fuck me, Hunter,” I pleaded. “Stick it in deeper.”
“You like it, don’t you, Ethan?” he replied. “You like being fucked by me, don’t you?”
Then, surprising me, he pulled out and I groaned in frustration because I had been enjoying it so much; and being totally aroused and excited, I didn’t want it to stop.
“What are you doing, Hunter?” I asked, confused and exasperated.
“I’m taking this condom off,” he replied. “I’m tired of wearing a condom. It’s too freaking uncomfortable.”
Looking into the mirror, I watched as he tugged the condom off and tossed it across the room toward Buddy, who leaned over and sniffed it.
Before I could say anything, he mounted me again and began stroking me rhythmically, slower at first, then gradually picking up speed once again.
“I don’t think we should . . .”
“Shut the fuck up, Ethan, and enjoy it. You know you want me to bareback you.”
His strokes were coming faster now and I knew he was close and I was trying to figure out what I should do; and then the pleasure overpowered me and I stopped thinking about anything at all and just began moaning uncontrollably.
“Oh, god, no; uhhhhhh; oh, Jesus, this is unbelievable.”
“Tell me what you want, Ethan,” he whispered, his words labored, his voice cracking.
“I want you to fuck me, Hunter,” I replied. “I want you to fuck my ass just like you fucked Mary Ellen’s pussy.”
“Fuck me, dude. Give it to me.”
“Oh, Jesus, yes,” Hunter exclaimed, certain now the effort he was expending was finally about to be rewarded.
“I can feel it building inside me, dude; feel it starting to climb.”
“Uh, oh god; oh, Jesus; here it comes, Ethan.”
“Oh fuck, yes; fuck, give it to me,” I remember screaming.
“Cream me, Hunter!”
“Uh, uhhhh . . . oh, Jesus . . . FUCK!”
“Wake up, Ethan,” Hunter said, shaking my shoulder.
“Jesus, wake up, dude. Are you okay?”
“Come on, Ethan, wake up.”
I was breathing hard now and opened my eyes only reluctantly.
“Are you okay?” he asked yet again, staring at me.
He was standing next to the bed shaking my shoulder and he was fully dressed, not naked like he had been only moments before.
“Where’s Buddy?” I asked.
“Buddy?” he asked.
“Why would I bring Buddy to the game, Ethan? You know how much he likes chasing balls. I’d have to spend the whole game trying to keep him away from the field. It would be a major pain in the ass. You know how playful he is.”
“Jesus, that must have been some dream you were having,” he continued. “You were screaming bloody murder and I thought you would never wake up.”
“What was I saying?” I asked.
“I dunno,” he replied. “It was crazy talk. Hell, you even called out my name at one point, but none of it made any sense.”
“Are you okay?”
Looking around the room, I realized it had all been a dream. I was naked, but I wasn’t wearing red panties. I had never had sex with anyone, let alone Hunter. Hunter didn’t even know I was gay.
The whole thing had been another one of those weird dreams of mine; and yet it had seemed so powerful, so real, so incredibly intense.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I whispered. “Thanks for coming by. I guess I’m just a little nervous before the game.”
“Speaking of which, you need to shake a leg, Ethan,” he replied. “Coach told me he wanted you there an hour early so you could take some extra batting practice. You need to get dressed now. I’ll wait for you downstairs.”
Hunter turned and walked toward the door, then stopped and looked back over at me.
“Oh, by the way, in case you haven’t noticed, you ejaculated, Ethan,” he said, a grin spreading across his face. “I touched your shoulder and you blew one incredible load. I don’t know which one of those babes at school you were thinking about, but you must definitely have the hots for her. That’s a huge load you dumped, dude.”
“You may want to strip the sheets off that bed and start a wash before we head out. I don’t think you’ll want your Mom seeing that freaking mess.”
I looked down and immediately saw he was right. The stain was huge.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” I replied. “Thanks, Hunter; and, yeah, the person I was dreaming about is definitely hot,” I added.
“But you’re not going to tell me, right?” he asked. “You’re too much of a nice guy to reveal the name of the bitch that turns you on like that? Not tonight, isn’t that right, Ethan; isn’t that what you always tell me?”
“Not tonight, Hunter,” I replied, smiling at him.
“Maybe sometime though,” I added.
With that final exchange Hunter was out the door and I was alone again. I jumped out of bed, dried myself off with the sheet, and then headed to the bathroom where I cleaned myself up. Returning to my room, I looked at the clock next to my bed. It was 5:30 p.m. and the game would start at 7:05 p.m. exactly.
Still naked, I stripped the sheets off my bed, ran down to the basement, shoved them into the washing machine, and turned it on. Racing up the stairs, I could see Hunter in the living room waiting for me.
“Hey, what are you, a faggot or something, racing around the house naked like that?” he shouted at me as I climbed the second set of stairs toward my bedroom.
“You wish,” I shouted back as I raced up the stairs.
“And I’ve told you a million times, don’t use that word, dude. It’s nasty.”
“Sorry,” I heard him shout back.
Safely back in my room, I recalled the last time Hunter had used the word faggot years ago.
It was just after I finally admitted I was gay to myself.
I was twelve the first time I thought I might be gay. I had caught two of my friends in the seventh grade picking on a smaller boy who was cute.
“What the hell are you doing?” I had asked, stepping between them and the boy. “What did this kid do to you?”
“He’s a sissy, Ethan,” one of them responded. “That kid is a sissy and we’re just letting him know what we think about that.”
“He doesn’t look like a sissy to me,” I said. “And what if he is? What’s it to you? I’m ashamed of you guys. Come on. Let’s go do something fun and forget about torturing this kid.”
Later the kid thanked me; and later still my friends apologized for picking on him as well. But it made me wonder.
I remember going home that afternoon and turning on the computer. Surfing to YouTube, I plugged in the words “sissy” and “boy” and waited to see what would come up.
I clicked on the very first link it fed to me and remember being astonished.
In the video there was this boy and he was unbelievably cute and he was wearing a pair of panties he had sneaked away from his sister. He was talking about what it felt like to be wearing panties, how they made him feel good and completed; and he was asking whether those of us watching the video thought he was pretty?
Like I said, he was cute and I remember wishing the two of us were friends. I didn’t have any friends like him, but I wanted one; and if we were friends and he asked me to wear his sister’s panties, I was pretty certain I would do that for him.
Yeah, sure, it was weird. I knew that. And yet somehow I felt connected to that boy in a way I had never felt connected to anyone before. That’s when it occurred to me for the very first time I might be gay. I wasn’t certain, of course; maybe it was just some kind of phase. I knew boys my age went through phases like that so it’s not like I knew for sure.
It had all come to a head in August two years later, the summer of my discontent. I had finally admitted to myself I was gay. It wasn’t that big a deal. I mean, no, I wasn’t going to run around town telling everyone I was gay, but I was okay with being gay. There was nothing wrong with it. But I was definitely unhappy.
There was no one to share it with for one thing and I didn’t want to be a virgin anymore for another; and then one day in August I had been standing on the boardwalk when the most beautiful boy in the world walked by on his way to Poodle Beach. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I had never wanted anyone as much as I wanted that boy and I waited for hours hoping he would come back the same way.
But nothing had happened that day, even later when he did come back, tossed me his teddy bear, and blew me a kiss. I had wanted to kiss him, but couldn’t summon the courage to do so; and then he was gone.
I remember wondering whether he would be coming back the following summer. If he did, I knew I would do everything differently. Instead of blowing him a kiss in exchange for the one he sent my way, I would walk over and kiss him on the lips. I wouldn’t care who saw it.
And then I would let him lead me back to wherever he was staying and the two of us would have sex. He was so incredibly hot and I wanted him so bad and I would do anything he asked. I knew that for sure now. It no longer scared me.
If he came back, I would do whatever he wanted.
But it was September now and summer was over. The town was settling back into normalcy and Hunter and I were back in school. The two of us had gone back to my house that afternoon to play some video game.
Usually I tried to let Hunter win a lot of the time whenever we played. He was my very best friend after all, but I knew there were times when he was a little jealous of me. He was always talking about how I was the smartest kid in our school, the most popular, the best athlete, the boy all of the girls wanted to dance with.
Whatever it was, I was the best, at least if you listened to Hunter.
It was kind of embarrassing hearing him say that all the time.
People considered Hunter just average, mostly because he was always telling them he was average; and that was because that’s all he ever heard from his mother, that he was just average.
It wasn’t really true, at least as far as I was concerned. We had played together for years and I knew he was a very good athlete. But he lacked the self-confidence you needed to be the very best and he had stopped trying when he didn’t make the team once we reached high school.
He was smart as well and a good enough student. He could have been even better if he pushed himself, probably even better than me; but like most of the boys he wasn’t into studying that much and some of the subjects didn’t come easily.
I used to spend time studying with him, trying to help him do better, and he appreciated it. He wanted to go to college as much as I did. We had talked about that a lot, how we would go to college together and be roommates. It was a dream both of us shared back then.
Everyone liked Hunter too, but he wasn’t super popular like me. I don’t know why. I never understood how people in high school decided who was real popular and who was just average. The whole thing seemed stupid.
We had been best friends forever and I liked him a lot. We spent lots of time together in the fall, winter and spring exploring our little town. We hung out together in the summer, swimming, boogey-boarding and just having fun. And I tried to go out of my way to build him up.
When we wrestled, I would let him win as much as I did; when we played games, the same thing. I wasn’t obvious about it because I liked Hunter and was grateful to him for being my best friend and figured letting him win like that would make the two of us tighter.
Like I said, we had gone back to my house and were playing this game and he decided to cheat on the very last play and beat me. I protested and then the two of were down on the floor rolling around and we were laughing as we struggled to get control of the joy stick.
And then it happened. He touched my groin accidentally and I immediately got a boner.
He looked at me strangely for a moment and then started to laugh.
“Whoa,” he said. “That is so gay, dude. If I didn’t know better, I’d call you a faggot.”
I don’t know why I said it exactly, but I did.
“If you want to know the truth, Hunter, I am gay,” I responded. “Although I didn’t exactly plan to come out to you this way and I don’t like you using the word faggot either. It’s really a nasty word. No one should use it.”
He stared at me for a moment. At first he was stunned and then I could see a look of surprise spreading across his face; surprise followed by shock.
“You’re kidding, right, Ethan?” he asked.
It was decision time and I knew it, but I couldn’t go through with it for some reason.
“What do you think, Hunter?” I responded. “Of course I’m kidding. But you shouldn’t be using the word faggot no matter what. That’s definitely nasty, dude.”
I could see a look of relief cross his face and then he was smiling at me again.
“You almost gave me a heart attack there, Ethan,” he said. “But I knew you were kidding.”
“You’re way too masculine to be gay.”
Looking back on the whole thing, it wasn’t my finest moment. I knew that. There were times when I regretted not telling him the truth and coming out publicly back then. It would have made everything easier.
Maybe it’s just an excuse but, seeing that strange look on his face, I didn’t want to disappoint Hunter. So I didn’t come out. I kept it between me and my teddy bear, Mr. Bare Ass, who was sitting there patiently on the window sill waiting for me to change into my uniform and be on my way to the game.
I remember sighing just thinking about all of that, then pulling on the long socks and my jock. Some of the guys were into cups by now, but I still preferred just wearing a jock. I pulled my uniform from the hanger in the closet. My mother had washed and ironed it just like she always did. It looked fresh and appealing and I pulled it on quickly.
The final step in the process was the cap. I put it on and then checked the mirror to make sure the brim was tilted exactly the way I wanted. A lot of the guys liked wearing their caps backward and there were times when I did that as well. But I had shaped the brim exactly the way I wanted by then; and when I tilted it a certain way, I thought it made me look kind of roguish and sexy so that’s the look I went for today.
I started toward the door, then stopped and looked at myself in the mirror again.
Why, I remember asking myself? Why do I have such weird dreams?
I mean, Christ, Hunter isn’t even into guys. He wouldn’t have the least interest in fucking me; and me wearing panties and fantasizing about Buddy watching Hunter doing it to me?
Where does shit like that come from?
But I already knew the answer.
All the dreams and fantasies came from the stories I was reading on the internet at sites like Nifty and from the porn I was looking at. That was what was getting me so hot and bothered these days.
“You’re weird, Ethan,” I whispered to the figure staring back at me in the mirror. “You’re not just an ordinary perv. You’re definitely a weirdo. But that’s okay. This is America, after all, and everyone’s allowed to be weird in some way.”
Then, readjusting my cap just a tad, I race down the stairs two at a time and gave Hunter a high five.
“I guess we should be going,” I said, looking at him.
“Um, hey listen, Ethan, do you think your mother would mind if I took along a piece of that apple pie I saw in the kitchen?” he responded.
“Why do you even bother asking?” I replied. “You know she makes that pie more for you than for me. It’s there for a reason, dude. Take whatever you want.”
“Jeez, thanks, Ethan,” he responded, heading into the kitchen to retrieve what I knew he was longing for; not my ass, after all, just a slice of Mom’s apple pie.
It was so frustrating!
He sliced a large piece, placed it on a paper plate, and then returned to the living room.
“It’s just that I’m, ah, you know, kind of hungry, Ethan; and that apple pie your Mom makes is the best in the world, the absolute best,” he continued.
“You’re hungry all the time, Hunter,” I said. “I’ve never seen anyone eat as much as you and never put on a pound. Where does it all go?”
“Well, um, I burn up a lot of energy what with all the time I spend with the girls,” he replied, winking at me.
“You know what they say, Ethan? Messing around can burn up a lot of calories.”
“Oh, please, give me a break,” I responded, rolling my eyes at him. “You must be spending all that time with those girls in your dreams, Hunter, because lately you’re either working or hanging around with me the rest of the time. But dream on.”
“Come on, lover boy,” I added, “let’s roll; we need to be going.”