Letting go of something you love can be as hard as letting go of someone you love. In our just completed story, Jimmy told Jeff he needed to let go of him because he was dying. Although Jeff resisted, he had little choice in the end. I have more choice, but I’ve decided to stop writing and posting new stories online for the foreseeable future.
There are a lot of personal reasons for this. It’s not that I don’t like writing anymore. I still do. But I’m tired for one thing. Writing stories is harder than it may seem at first glance; and then editing and posting a new chapter online every week is harder still.
I’m also pretty much out of ideas at the moment. Actually, I did have one idea for a story and I had even written a few chapters. I was excited about that because it gave me a chance to explore writing a story in a different way than you’re used to seeing from me.
Sadly, the election of Donald Trump pretty much killed the idea I had. Absent new ideas (and you’re welcome to share any you have), there’s not very much a writer can do.
It’s also hard writing for such a small audience. Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate the encouragement and support you’ve provided me over the years. I have the best audience any writer could ask for. It’s just kind of tiny and I have no way of expanding it having been blackballed by those who run some of the larger gay story sites on the web.
I’ve also come to believe that using my spare time to write stories is selfish at a time when we are about to swear in a narcissist, bigot and serial liar as President. Think I exaggerate? Here are the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder listed by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders of the American Psychiatric Association.
Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
Exaggerating your achievements and talents
Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people
Requiring constant admiration
Having a sense of entitlement
Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
Taking advantage of others to get what you want
Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
Being envious of others and believing others envy you
Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner
Does that sound like anyone you know? As for the rest of it, if you don’t recognize by now that Trump is a bigot and serial liar, you never will. But that doesn’t change the fact that he is. All you have to do is read the news every day and you’ll be reminded of that over and over.
It isn’t a crime to be a narcissist, of course. The Constitution doesn’t prohibit one from serving as President. It also doesn’t prohibit a serial liar or a bigot from being President. The Founding Fathers counted on the good judgment of the electors to weed out people like that.
Sadly, 2016 was an epic fail.
I believe Trump and the Republicans are going to do some terrible things in the next four years and need to be fought.
I don’t entertain any illusions they can be stopped by citizen action. Too many people don’t give a damn for one thing. Like Trump, we have become a country where it’s all about me. We don’t feel connected to our fellow citizens. Being selfish is in, empathy with the less fortunate out.
At least that’s the way I see it; and because I see it that way, I think any spare time I have should be focused on doing whatever I can to fight what’s about to happen. We won’t win, but the least we can do is try.
In about a week or so I’ll be putting up a post welcoming people to this site. You can ignore that. I’m not expecting a lot of visitors, but I do want whoever wanders into this site to feel welcome even after I’ve stopped posting here. The stories will remain available to read.
No one can predict the future. If I do get the urge to write, I may try to rewrite some of my stories to make them more acceptable to a mainstream audience and then possibly try publishing them as e-books at a place like Amazon. Or I may not. I’ll let you know with a post if I do.
Thank you for reading my stories and for being supportive over the years. Many of you seem like old friends and all of you are appreciated. But, like they say, all good things must come to an end.
Farewell for now.