Chapter 19

Veritas indeed :-)

I don’t think you’ll like tonight’s chapter very much and I won’t blame you if you don’t. It’s one of the better illustrations why I feel so ambivalent about The Opened Door.

Sitting between last week’s unfolding of Roger’s dastardly plot and next week’s grand finale, it just seems to occupy space without doing very much.

It’s not that I absolutely hate the chapter, but I don’t like it especially either. It’s more than just meh. It’s . . .

sorry about that ...

It does make some points I wanted to make, i.e., that love, particularly young love that has not taken firm root, is very fragile indeed; that sometimes we worry about things so much we twist ourselves into knots of our own making; and that ultimately the story shouldn’t be about what kind of person Roger is.

We already know from last week’s chapter that Roger is twisted and sick. Tonight’s chapter was to be a counterpoise to that; at least that’s what it was supposed to be in my imagination. It would show us what kind of people Sean and Holden are and heighten our appreciation for what a loving relationship can be.

All good points and well worth making. Unfortunately, I don’t make them very well in the chapter. Indeed, it goes on too long in its effort to sledgehammer what are essentially simple points into your heads. So, yeah, I am disappointed with the chapter.

Part of the problem has to do with the previous chapter. It was much too long to add even a slimmed down version of this one to; and the next chapter is longer than usual as well. Adding this one to our grand finale would have slowed down the pace of that chapter considerably.

In the end, I was left with two choices. I could dump this chapter completely, which I probably should have done, or could leave it in and beg for your mercy; which is what I’m actually doing right now.

On a happier note, you’re going to get a chance to see some of what I actually did excise from The Opened Door in my next story, which I’ll have more to say about in January. For now I’ll just say that at some point I recognized I needed to cut out a lot of stuff if I was ever going to make this story work.

So I cut out a bunch of chapters and turned them into an entirely separate story, one I actually like better than The Opened Door (although only time will tell whether you share that assessment). But I probably should have cut even more, including this chapter.

In any event, enough with the self-flagellation; didn’t know I was a masochist, did you 😀

In last week’s chapter Sean and Holden finally got it on in a new and more intimate way; so much so that Holden finally figured out he didn’t need to keep a journal anymore.

Unfortunately, Holden ran into Roger after breakfast. By the way, is it just me or has Roger been stalking Holden all this time? I mean, on a campus as large as Harvard, why is it that Roger is always running into Holden unless he’s stalking the dude?

Be that as it may, Roger informed Holden there might be a problem with Sean’s petition, one that would cause Harvard’s Board of Governors to reject it.

He didn’t spell out the details, instead suggesting Holden stop by his room in an hour to find out what the problem was. But Roger wasn’t there when Holden arrived. Indeed, he kept Holden waiting all day before finally revealing what was up.

Apparently what was up was something between Roger’s hips as it quickly became apparent he was determined to copulate with Holden; so much so that he made that his condition for not revealing to the Board that Sean used to sell marijuana on campus.

Stunned by the news, we left Holden wandering the streets of Cambridge, convinced he had little choice except to have sex with Roger if he wanted Sean to be admitted to Harvard. We pick up our story this week with Sean maintaining a lonely vigil outside Holden’s door in Wigglesworth.

To the extent you can, have fun reading and be sure to be gentle in upbraiding me for keeping you waiting for the final resolution next week. I added some pics to both galleries over the weekend in an effort to appease your ire 😀

In any event, hopefully you’ll enjoy the outcome of the story, if not the wait.


2 thoughts on “Chapter 19

  1. Kit,

    I was debating whether to write this here or under the story comments. Guess which one I decided on !

    I was hesitant to read Chapter 19 after reading your intro but after reading it, all I can say is … I guess you just don’t understand good writing when you see it. Because this chapter is wonderful. How many times have I blown things out of proportion and asked myself the same questions Sean asks himself? You think you were repeating but that is what happens in life .. Those bad feelings repeat and repeat all day. Your writing captured that feeling.

    Without giving any spoilers, let me just say that this chapter is so good that if you ended the story here, with Sean’s last thought, I would be 100% satisfied with the story. I know next week you’ll wrap things up and it will be great but don’t beat yourself up … This chapter is good enough to finish the story so it is more than good enough as the penultimate chapter.

    Great stuff amigo,


    1. Thank you very much, Tim. I think this is one of the nicest, if not the nicest, compliments I’ve ever received for one of my chapters. It’s very humbling and I’ve read it multiple times.

      Like I think I told someone else, you can’t always see the forest for the trees when you’re rushing around trying desperately to improve a chapter like this one you have doubts about. But after reading your comment I was able to step back and think about it; and, honestly, I think you’re right.

      If I was shot by some madman this coming week and couldn’t deliver Chapter 20, I’d be satisfied with Chapter 19 as the ending. It leaves a lot to the imagination and readers could fill that in however they chose. That’s always a good thing for a writer to encourage.

      In case you’re wondering, I’ve already scheduled Chapter 20 for the usual time next Monday evening. If I do get shot or run over or whatever, everyone will be able to see the ending I had envisioned.

      It needs more work, of course, and I’ll be working on it throughout the rest of the week. But even now I think it ties up most of the loose ends so I won’t be beating my head against a wall if something happens.

      But to hear you say you would be satisfied with Chapter 19 as the ending? Wow! That just totally blows me away.

      Thank you! And, by the way, guess which one I decided to respond to 😀

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