Chapter 39

be still my beating heart :-)

Update: Chapter 39 is now up. Have fun reading and be sure to let me know what you think.

It was another one of those weeks where I had trouble finding a good image to illustrate what the chapter was all about. Forced to use whatever I could find, this was the best I could do. You’ll have to forgive me 🙂

Of course, Ethan is about to head home with Riley in the story so it may be that a picture of an incredibly awesome young man is appropriate after all. And what better picture to use than one of my boyfriend?

Yeah, right; keep dreaming, Kit!

Chapter 39 will be up at the usual time later this evening and I’ll update this note at that time to let you know it’s been posted. But I wanted to encourage everyone to read this introduction first so I’ve posted it earlier than usual. I want to talk a bit about sex again so let me begin with the obvious. Every week when I post a new chapter I include a long header that cautions you’re reading “a work of adult fiction” that’s “intended for mature audiences only.”

The warning goes on to add: “Please note that the story may describe, depict or otherwise include graphic portrayals of relationships between men and/or adolescent boys that are homosexual in nature. If you do not like or approve of such discussions or it is illegal for you to read such material, consider yourself warned. If you continue to read this story, you are asserting that you are fully capable of understanding and legally consenting to reading a work of adult fiction.”

I’m not foolish enough to believe you’re reading that warning every week; and while I shouldn’t have to remind you that my stories include gay sex, some of you have told me you’re a little squeamish when it comes to depictions of sex and would appreciate some advanced warning.

In addition, I worry at times that some of you may be younger and impressionable although my audience definitely seems to trend older. At the risk of being accused of being a male chauvinist, I’ll also confess writing depictions of male to male sex for an audience that includes women makes me a bit nervous as well 🙂

In any event, this chapter does contain more than just talk about sex. It contains depictions of sex. There is more to the chapter than just the sex, of course, but that may not always be the case with the next couple of chapters. No pun intended, but the bottom line is we’re going to be focusing more on sex than we have up until now; and since that’s the case, there are a couple of things I would like to say.

Those of you who have been reading my stories from the beginning back in 2011 know I’ve posted on the blog at times about my reasons for including sex in my stories. You can check out some examples of those posts here, here and here if interested. While I don’t do much blogging anymore, I feel like I should remind you that I find writing sex difficult for a number of reasons.

Every reader is different for one thing. Some like their sex soft and romantic; others prefer it coarse, rough or even pornographic. Some want all the details in detail; others prefer stories that leave something to the imagination. So it would be pretty hard to satisfy everyone under the best of circumstances if I was writing to arouse or excite you. But that’s not the reason I’m writing. If it was, you can be darn sure I would be writing to arouse or excite myself before you and wouldn’t be publishing it here 🙂

Pornographers write to arouse and excite and that’s fine; I have nothing against what they do. But, disappointing as it may be to hear, I’m not trying to write pornography. What I’m trying to do is to write stories I find interesting and realistic, but ones that provide us with a better understanding of some of the problems and challenges people face in real life. And there’s the problem in a nutshell.

The boys and young men I write about are all at different stages of life. Some are just awakening sexually. Some may have seen it all. Their preferences may change over time so what may be appropriate for a sixteen year old may not be for the same character when he or she is twenty one. The “she” is hypothetical, of course; not being a she, I’m not sure I could write a realistic sex scene between two girls or two women although I actually did try for this story before abandoning the effort.

Their sexual partners may vary as well. Some may be quite skilled and accomplished; others inexperienced and less sure of themselves. If you think about it, sex is not really one size fits all. It’s a very personal experience and one affected by many, many things. Sometimes it ends up being good; sometimes not. For most people it’s a varied experience; at least that’s what I believe. And believing that as I do, writing about sex realistically is even harder than one might think at first glance.

But if I’m going to avoid falling into the trap of making every sex scene pretty much the same, all of them volcanic, all of them perfect, I have to try writing about it realistically. So I hope you’ll bear with me in the chapters immediately ahead because I’m trying to portray sex in different shapes and forms; the good, the bad, and the different.

I’m not sure I’ll succeed. Indeed, I thought about scraping these chapters entirely and moving directly to the conclusion. But I think this is probably important to my development as a writer so I’ll just ask you to cut me a break if I don’t succeed in what I try.

In any event, think about it and come back later this evening and take a look at the latest chapter.


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